This Never Happened

This Never Happened

Every time I’m in town and I pass one of those dull multi-story office buildings nondescript receptions and foyers, I secretly wonder if it’s some sort of outpost for the Ministry of Magic or the Men In Black. More than likely it’s a financial office of a subsection of insurance conglomerate, filled with bored middle aged, middle management types like this guy. A man can dream though.

How far do you think a guy could get into one of those buildings with nothing more than the suit on his back and a clipboard? Just pretending you were some kind of inspector. I bet you could make the manager sit outside of his office for hours doing that. You could just sit there all day, and have some hooker dressed as Batgirl fiddle with you under the desk.

That’s what I like to imagine is happening here. Some guy sitting in the head office of the Ministry of Magic building with a hooker dressed as Batgirl.


Batman Can Make Anything Look Dark And Brooding

It’s a fact.

Actually, can we talk a minute about Batman? And how he just needs to get over the whole ‘I witnessed my parents death’ thing? At this stage it feels like it’s and excuse to get out of things.

I can see it at the JLA Tower now; Wonder Woman asking him,”Could you clean the coffee cups in the break room, Bruce?”

“Can’t. Parents are dead. Need to brood some more.”

“Come on, seriously, Superman’s has some weird brown mold in it.”

“My parents are Deeeeaaad!”

“Fine! I’ll do them…”

Batman should stop being so much of a Bat-bitch.

Supergirl was a witness to her entire planets demise. She just shrugs it off and gets on with life.

Even Spider-man can seem to get on with his life, and let’s face it, he’s at least partially responsible for the death of Uncle Ben. That kids gotta live with that guilt the rest of his life.

Speaking of Spider-man, I still wonder how different his life would have turned out if his Uncle was a bit of a sleaze.

Instead of advice like “With great power comes great responsibility”, he’d be all “Two in the pink, one in the stink!”

Where Were Her Dragons At?

I’m still amazed at how we’re shown so often how smart and cunning this Daneares… Danyeriez… Targayrein… The Dragon Girl can be, yet not smart or cunning enough to realize that she SHOULDN’T LEAVE HER PRICELESS DRAGONS ALONE WHERE ANYONE CAN GRAB!

If I had lost my Dragon’s ’cause I left them out for anyone to come grab, my mother would have told me that was tough luck, and I would have learned my harsh lesson.

Unknown Hell Dimension

Unknown Hell Dimension

It appears She Hulk and Bruce Wayne have been sucked into some kind of nightmare hell dimension, where dance steps rule an infinite void, and you can’t even try and sneak in any nookie without little yellow Yodas and creepy children watching you through circles and pink cubes. At least She Hulk is looking voluptuous in that black dress. Not sure about the pink bows though.

Am I right in saying Xander form Buffy The Vampire Slayer coined the phrase “Unknown Hell Dimension”? Pretty sure he said it in that episode “Once More With Feeling,” the one where they all sing and dance. That was an awesome episode from an awesome show.

It’s an entertaining plot device I’m surprised hasn’t popped up more in comics; being made to sing and dance. Probably comes from being a visual medium. So yeah, that comment was pretty stupid. You’d have to have some kind of chip that when you opened up the comic played the little tunes. Like in those ridiculously overpriced birthday cards…

… Why the hell have they never done THAT?

Any Excuse, Huh Terra?

Any Excuse, Huh Terra?

I have no idea what that thing on Power Girl‘s boob window is. I don’t think Terra does either. Nor does she seem to care. All I get from this is that she’s psyching herself up to get a touch of the Power Boobs. That perv girl. Oh jeez, that would be an awesome porn parody name for Power Girl. Perv Girl. I call dibs on that copyright.

When I first saw this image I thought Power Girl had ‘X’s for eyes: you know, like the ones from the old cartoons to show a character is dead? I had to look up why they used to do that, and I found out it was meant to look like a stitch. At the time, the undertaker would stitch the eyelids closed to stop them from popping open at an open casket funeral. There’s your Creepy Fact Of The Day!™